Short Jokes

I bought my vegan girlfriend a bow

She’s gone into the garden to stalk some celery

you know why hanzo’s holiday line is “a gift…for you”? even though he’s not giving anything? because he’s the gift. guys. guys he’s the gift. it’s him. do you know why?? 

because he has a bow 

Compound archers are happy if they hit gold.
Recurve archers are happy if they hit gold or red.
Longbow archers are happy if they hit the target.

—  A joke from one of my archery teachers who happened to use a longbow.

Short Archery jokes to start your day right

What did the archer get when he hit a bullseye?
A very angry bull!

What did the real archer say to the compound archers?
"I see you still have your training wheels on.

What kind of bow can’t be tied?… a crossbow.

What did the archer make out of his bow?… A bow tie.

Friday Archery Joke

A Fine Shot
A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. 

Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow. 

'Who is this incredibly fine archer?' cried the duke.'I must find him!' 

After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. 

Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.
 
'You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?' asked the duke worriedly. 

'No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy.' 

'That is truly astonishing,' said the duke. 'I hereby admit you into my service.' 

The boy thanked him profusely. 

'But I must ask one favor in return,' the duke continued. 'You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot.' 

'Well,' said the boy, 'first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I paint the target around it.'